explanation

Ok, so i feel to explain something here,

so i will start with this          last week a friend said to me “Antony,you  have turned over allot of stones in your life,(hey and i got to say this ,i am listening to some blissed out sounds by Santana,SHAMAN CD) beautiful ,mmm chokes the soul) so,this comment was made in reply to a question,which was why am i writing this stuff under the heading of THE SELF, and why am i doing it the way i am doing it,

so here is the reason         i want people to see its about the ordinary as well as the sometimes unexplainable,its about encompassing everything about you    its not a journey which is singularly based on some esoteric psychological trip,yeah that may be part of it   but its also letting go into every orbit of your being,if like me you got a passion for Indian jewellery or Afghani carpets then throw YOUR SELF into it,explore everything that comes into your life,    i have met so many people who are wound up ,tense,angry and pissed off at not being able to understand something which in essence need not be understood,as if this search for the self is something which is evasive.

It is not something which is seperate,it is not a goal ,it is you,with all your fuck ups,your sadness,joy,and everything else that comes into your life.

As a professor, who is a friend of mine said recently,”Antony the trouble with most professors and supposed learned people is that they are very often not really a part of the real world,very good with the words,very good with analytical,yet they are clueless when it comes to hands on life,they are very often afraid of life and often harbour the very thing they are lecturing to the rest of the world about dealing with,they harbour the gremlins in the cupboard.

Its not a journey of discovery along a straight line,its outward and inward in every direction,like the pebble in the pond affect.

So my writing is not about achieving the capture of some enlightened goal,i am writing from my SELF and the complete journey,all of me,about the inexplicable,the simple and the everyday mundane crazy world i live in,i may have learned how to meditate with the thai forest monks but i love a good smoke of silver haze,oh yes  and i got passion galore for life and i understand peoples heads and i KNOW mine.later.